Sexologist Claire Diaz is transforming how we view sex and menstrual health. With her inclusive approach, she’s helping people embrace cycles, intimacy, and pleasure.

 

Name: Claire Diaz

Day job: Sexologist

 

Describe your work in one sentence:

I am a qualified sexologist and wear many hats as an educator, workshop and retreat facilitator, and coach. My work focuses on normalising conversations about sex, fostering healthier relationships, and helping people bring more pleasure into their lives.

 

What inspired your career path?

Believe it or not, I was in my final year of post-grad law when I decided to leave and pursue studying sexology instead. It was one of the most radical - and best - decisions I’ve ever made. Like most of us, I never received remotely adequate sex education growing up. I lost my virginity to a boyfriend when I was 19, and although I’ve always been a romantic, I can see now that the real reason I waited was that I was terrified. I was nervous, unsure, ashamed, and felt out of depth. I wanted to learn more.

In my early twenties, I became fascinated with learning about sex through books and podcasts. I was always the one in my friend groups who wanted to talk about it. One day, a friend told me, “You know, you could do this as a career.” It shocked me, and I ignored the idea for years - until one day, sitting in a contracts law lecture, I finally admitted to myself, “This isn’t my path.”

I’ve often been the one who’s done things differently, so it only makes sense that I’m now helping to blaze a trail toward a world where sex is understood as normal, natural, and so much fun. But we all need help navigating it, undoing the shame surrounding it, and exploring new avenues - myself included.

 

What’s your go-to morning routine or ritual to start the day?

Having quiet time in the morning is such a privilege, so I always want to cherish it by going slow whenever possible. This could mean tea meditations, stretching, and journaling outside - or sometimes coffee and a book curled up in bed.

 

How does menstrual health connect to sexual well-being?

I believe that having a deeper understanding of your menstrual cycle - including balancing hormones and making lifestyle choices that work best for you - has a significant impact on sexual health and the enjoyment of sexual pleasure.

Our fluctuating hormones throughout the cycle (and the potential imbalances with irregular cycles) can directly affect arousal, desire, libido, and energy levels. For example:

• Follicular Phase: Rising estrogen often boosts energy and libido.
• Ovulation: Peak fertility typically coincides with heightened sexual desire.
• Luteal Phase: Some may experience a dip in mood or energy, while others feel more emotionally attuned and seek deeper intimacy.
• Menstrual Phase: While cramps are common, sex and orgasms can help alleviate this pain. However, a low mood might reduce the desire for some.

Additionally, conditions like endometriosis or dysmenorrhea, which can cause chronic pelvic pain, may impact sexual well-being by creating discomfort during or after intimacy.

The most crucial aspect is becoming attuned to your own body. Educating yourself and choosing the lifestyle practices that support your menstrual health positively impacts your cycle and boosts your confidence. When you understand and accept your body’s needs, you’re better equipped to help your sexual health and well-being.

How do you encourage people to feel more comfortable with period sex?

A big part of it is exposure - opening conversations and helping normalise it. Follow accounts on social media that promote and celebrate menstrual health. When you begin accepting it for yourself, this becomes the gateway to inviting a partner into this space.

You can educate them about the menstrual cycle and help normalise it. Remind yourself and your partner that your menstrual blood is sacred! For many, shame is connected to the ‘mess’ that can occur, but you can place a towel down or use a period/splash blanket. Having sex on your period can be an incredibly connecting act if you both see the sacredness in it. Otherwise, you can also focus on the pleasure it brings! The wetness can increase pleasure for all, and it can also alleviate cramps!

 

How can we honour and communicate the shifts in their cycle?

It starts with educating yourself on the cycle phases and attuning to your body throughout. Ask yourself, "What can best support me in each phase?" Then, open a conversation with the people around you or your partner(s) to invite them in on these needs. There may be a particular time (usually during the menstrual phase) when you need more support from others, and you can prepare for that by having the conversation beforehand.

 

What advice do you have for when period pain impacts intimacy?

First, if you feel your desire or arousal drop and don’t feel intimate, remember that this is okay - it's normal, and you don’t always have to want sex. The pain will come and go throughout your cycle, and so will your desire for intimacy; it’s natural. Relieving yourself of the shame of not feeling sexual is a huge relief.

Periods can be painful, but they aren’t meant to be excruciating. It's important to check in with yourself, as it could also be a sign of imbalanced hormones or other health conditions.

 

What harmful myths about sexual health need to be dismantled?

So many… but I think the most harmful myth I encounter consistently is that pain during sex is normal. It’s not. Many vulva owners endure discomfort or pain during sex, assuming it’s a given. This causes them to push past their boundaries, leading to avoidance of intimacy and unresolved medical conditions. It’s often a result of not being physically or emotionally ready for sex but pushing through anyway. However, there are many causes, so it’s always best to seek professional advice (such as from a sexologist).

Education is always the answer. We need to talk more about conditions like vaginismus, endometriosis, or pelvic floor dysfunction. On a personal level, always check in with yourself if you are experiencing pain and either discuss it with your partner or ask for help from a professional.

 

Why are periods still a taboo despite increased education?

Sadly, I think it has a lot to do with the misogyny that still exists today. Even with increased education, society has a long history of treating menstruation as a secret, something to be hidden. The belief system that labels it as dirty or weak will take time to undo, as it’s deeply ingrained in the conditioning we’ve grown up with.

 

What does period self-care mean to you?

Period self-care means ensuring I’m as comfortable as possible when my bleed arrives. This might involve rescheduling major work or social plans where I can, making sure my groceries are stocked, and prepping a meal ahead of time.

Sometimes, my period brings big emotional releases; other times, my mood is light and happy. I’m always checking in with myself and attuning to what I need at the moment.

 

How can we better embrace our cycles as a source of power?

Start by tracking your cycle and noting which "season" you’re in. Living in alignment with your cycle and adjusting your life, where possible, to support it makes all the difference. Each season has its superpower - so embrace it!

 

If you had everyone’s attention, what’s your top health message?

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. Educate yourself, do the research, but ultimately, honour what your body needs. Do what makes YOU feel good, strong, and happy - regardless of stigma or societal ‘shoulds.’

 

What changes do you hope to see in how society views menstrual health?

Periods are the reason we are all here on the planet! We all came from a womb that bled. We need to remember how ancient and magnificent our cycles are. We need to honour the seasons within them and the needs that accompany them.

 

How do you see sexual wellness evolving, and what role do you hope to play?

My life mission is to continue advocating for and paving the way forward for a more sex-positive, inclusive, and educated society. I hope my work can reach more people and invite them to learn together.

 

MY CYCLE

• My period in 3 words: RELEASE. RENEW. RESET.
• Period self-care toolkit: Dark chocolate, food cooked for me (or pre-prepared by me!), hot water bottle (or try the NEW rae Heat Pad!), Mugwort Oil to rub onto my womb, and lots of water.
• Best period hacks: Wearing red as a celebration of my period.
• On day 1, you'll find me... Journaling, curled up with a Pixar movie, moving slowly, and in a relationship with my hot water bottle.