Sex coach Ruby Josif helps women reclaim their pleasure and embrace their sexuality unapologetically, guiding them to set boundaries and experience fulfilling sex lives.

 

Name: Ruby Josif

Pronouns: she/her

Day job: Sex Coach

Location: Margaret River, WA

 

Describe your work in one sentence.

I help women overcome challenges related to their sexuality and sexual experiences so they can create a sex life that is deeply pleasurable, nourishing, and sustainable.

 

How has your journey shaped your career?

I’ve always been sexually curious and open, but my journey truly began when I was 19, after narrowly escaping a domestic violence relationship and leaving my hometown. This was the first time I felt free in my young adult life. As I embraced this freedom, I naturally began exploring my sexuality. This inspired me to help others experience the same. I went from feeling trapped and controlled to free and liberated, with sexual liberation playing a huge role in that shift. While I love Neo-Tantric practices, they often lacked a grounded approach, so I further studied Western sexological teachings. I pride myself on incorporating these elements into a holistic sex coaching approach. I am passionate about supporting women in having great sex, understanding their pleasure, authentically expressing their sexuality, and confidently communicating and honouring their needs, desires, and boundaries.

 

Were you always open about sex and pleasure, or did it take time?

I was lucky to grow up in an open-minded, alternative household where my parents taught my brother and me that there’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to our bodies. I’ll never forget the conversation my mum had with me at 15, around the time of my first sexual experience, about how sex should be pleasurable and the importance of asking for what I need. My parents created a safe, open space for the inevitable sexual exploration that happens during adolescence.

Because of this, I was far more comfortable discussing sex than many of my peers. Throughout school and beyond, people confided in me, seeking advice about sex, periods, pleasure, and relationships. Over the years, this natural ability to hold space for conversations that may feel “taboo” has only deepened and remains a core part of who I am.

How do you practice self-care when feeling burnt out?

I stop and rest. I give myself full permission to do nothing and recalibrate. When I feel exhausted or burnt out, I know my body is telling me to slow down, so I listen.

There’s so much pressure to do more when we’re burnt out - exercise, juice cleanses, yoga, meditation, self-help books - when simply stopping, sitting on the couch with an easy read, and doing nothing can be the most powerful way to recharge.

 

What excites you about the future of your work?

I've seen real momentum building over the past four years working in this space. Sex and pleasure are being discussed more openly, and the shame and taboo surrounding these conversations are lifting in a big way.

This excites me because it means people are having conversations that were once unheard of. As a result, they feel more encouraged to explore their sexuality and access information, resources, and support when needed. This is life-changing for so many!

 

What’s your advice for those learning about their body and cycle?

Slow down and truly listen to your body. Our fast-paced society doesn’t always support our cyclical nature, but that doesn’t mean we can’t consciously create space for it.

Learn about the four phases of your cycle, but most importantly, track how they work for you - we are all different! Take time to understand how your emotions, libido, energy, and needs shift throughout your cycle. Notice patterns and find ways to support yourself.

Building a deep relationship with your body is key. When you tune in, you can feel what it’s communicating, listen, and respond in alignment with your needs.

 

How do periods affect desire, and how do you navigate?

Sexual desire varies for everyone, but it is significantly influenced by emotions and hormones - both of which play a major role in the menstrual cycle.

It’s common for women to experience heightened desire around ovulation when sex hormones peak and for libido to dip before menstruation as those hormones drop. Many also experience another surge in desire just before their period due to a second hormone spike.

My invitation is to track how your cycle impacts your sexual desire, as it will be different for everyone. As cyclical beings, our libido naturally fluctuates throughout life—this is normal and okay.

How do you help women honour their sexual boundaries?

Feeling pressured to be sexually available when we don’t want to be - especially while bleeding, which can be physically painful, emotionally challenging, or an internal time - is tough.

Understanding your boundaries around when you are and aren’t available for sex (or any aspect of sex) is crucial. Women have long been taught to push through discomfort, override their needs, and cross their boundaries for others’ pleasure.

My invitation is to examine your beliefs about pleasure. Do you see pleasure as something for you, or do you feel you exist for someone else? Understanding and rewriting these subconscious narratives is essential.

Next, honour your “no.” Stop pushing through and abandoning your needs. Instead, communicate from a place of openness, authenticity, and vulnerability. People who genuinely care about you also care about your pleasure - they would never want you to do something you don’t truly want to. If setting boundaries is difficult, know you can work on this with professional support.

 

What will shift the stigma around menstruation and sexual empowerment?

The word that comes to mind here is reclamation. It takes women’s unapologetic reclamation of our cycles, pleasure, bodies, and the full spectrum of who we are. When we love, accept, celebrate, and reclaim these parts of ourselves, we encourage others to do the same.

 

How can women reconnect with sex during painful periods?

My advice is to take the pressure off yourself and be exactly where you are. If you’re experiencing pain or discomfort during your period, permit yourself to honour that however you need - if you need to rest, rest. Only connect to yourself sexually if it’s something you genuinely desire, not because you feel you should be “on” all the time. Forced, obligatory sex isn’t enjoyable for anyone.

If you do want to connect sexually, ensure that the experience nourishes rather than depletes you. If you’re not feeling your best, this might mean moving slowly, being gentle, and honouring your needs without pushing through pain. Orgasms can also be a great form of pain relief - I love using my vibrators at this time in my cycle because they allow me to experience pleasure and orgasm with very little effort!

 

What does period self-care mean to you?

Period self-care means showing up unapologetically, taking care of myself physically, and openly voicing how I feel - especially when I'm bleeding - so the people around me can support me, too.

 

Why are periods still taboo?

We live in a world that doesn’t like women to be messy, "needy," to take up space or to be too much, too intense, too raw, or too real. We expect women to be neat, tidy, and palatable, while our periods and the emotions and experiences surrounding them are, for many, incredibly unpalatable.

 

What’s your number one health message for womxn?

Take the time to build a relationship with your body, your pleasure, your "yes" and your "no." Learn how to listen to your body so you can unapologetically honour your needs in all areas of your health and wellness.

 

What are your hopes for the future of periods and period talk?

I hope that period conversations become the norm among people of all genders. I envision a world where it’s common for men to have their partner’s cycle tracked in their calendar, where all children feel confident and unashamed discussing periods, and where menstrual cycles are given the reverence they deserve.

 

MY CYCLE

• My period in 3 words: Reflective, intuitive, restful
• Self-care toolkit: Total rest for Day 1, peppermint tea, Dark Lindt chocolate, fire on if it’s cold, period undies.
• Best period hacks: Use a slow cooker the day before your due date, an infrared sauna on Day 2, and, if possible, permit yourself to do nothing on Day 1.
• Contraception of choice: Fertility Awareness Method
• On day 1, you’ll find me: Resting on the couch, snuggled up with my dog and a hot water bottle (or try the new Scarlet Period rae Heat Pad!), reading a book, napping, and snacking.
• Scarlet pick: Scarlet Period Undies, especially the G-Strings!