Somatic Sexologist Alice Child helps individuals and couples reconnect with their bodies and achieve more fulfilling intimacy. Here, she talks about the connection between pleasure and wellness, plus the benefits of period sex.
Name: Alice Child
Day job: Somatic Sexologist and Sex Counsellor
Location: Sydney, Australia
Describe your work in one sentence.
I help individuals and couples achieve happier, healthier and more joyful sex, intimacy and relationships - whatever that means for them.
What inspired you to pursue somatic sexology and sex therapy?
In my mid-twenties, I began my journey of sexual exploration and liberation. It changed my life in so many ways. These experiences prompted questions that ultimately led me to retrain and specialise in Sexology:
- What took me so long to explore and prioritise my erotic desires?
- Why does nobody talk about the profound benefits of happy sex and intimacy
- What makes ‘good intimacy’? How is it different for everyone? How does it change in long-term relationships and as we age?
- When did sex - sex-the most natural thing in the world-become surrounded by awkwardness, shame, and taboo?
- What can I do about this?
Sexual wellness (including pleasure) is a human right, as defined by the World Health Organisation. When we have a healthy, happy sex life, our mental and physical health improve, along with our relationships.
It's time we see sex and pleasure as a natural, normal, and healthy part of life. That’s where Sexologists come in - helping people and couples navigate the inevitable changes and challenges in life and guiding them toward more authentic, connected experiences year after year.
How does your work differ from traditional sex therapy?
A Sexologist is someone who has studied the science of sex, including anatomy, physiology, psychology, and the cultural influences around sex, arousal, desire, and pleasure. Somatics is any practice that develops and strengthens the mind-body connection, helping people mindfully scan and listen to their bodies. Somatic Sexology adapts somatic practices to teach people how to have better sex, often helping them get out of their heads and into their bodies.
What are some common misconceptions about your field?
As a relatively new and emerging field, many people haven't heard of terms like ‘sexology’ or ‘somatics’ and may not know what to expect from a session. People sometimes ask me whether there will be touch or nudity. My sessions are educational, take place fully clothed, and I do not touch clients.
How do you integrate somatic practices into your sessions?
It depends on the client and their goals. Every session begins with an optional mindfulness practice to help the client arrive and feel present, and then we proceed to explore what feels most helpful for them.
For example, if a client wants to overcome sexual anxiety, rather than just talking about the anxiety, we might also explore how it shows up in their body as they discuss it. This could include becoming more aware of changes in heart rate, breathing, sweaty palms, and muscle tension. In session, I might help them develop strategies and grounding practices that engage both the mind and body, such as mindfulness, breathwork, muscle relaxation, focusing on sensation, and communication.
Have you noticed a shift in how people approach sexual wellness?
Absolutely - it’s changing, but not as fast as you might think. People are slowly realising that sexual wellness is an important part of the healthcare equation, and there have been positive steps in making quality sex education more accessible. That said, censorship is still a huge problem, and many of my younger clients are still exposed to taboo, shame, stigma, and misinformation.
How does the menstrual cycle affect libido and pleasure?
It’s different for everyone, but here are some suggestions based on what your hormones are doing at each stage:
Menstrual
During menstruation, hormones are relatively low, meaning many people crave rest, comfort foods, cuddles, and little to no sex. That said, many find that after 2-3 days, their sex drive spikes. This is due to the rise of low progesterone and estrogen levels; you may feel ready for action.
Suggested activity: Listen to your body, use a splash blanket or towel, and enjoy slow, pleasurable sex, intimacy, make-out sessions, or self-pleasure. Options that don’t involve vaginal penetration are also great, as you can enjoy them with a tampon, cup, or period undies. Just lie back and enjoy.
Follicular
Estrogen levels rapidly increase after your bleed, building up to ovulation. With estrogen higher than progesterone, many experience a surge in energy, creativity, and desire to socialize - all stimulants for the sex drive. This is a great time to try new things.
Suggested activity: Organise dates, dance, buy new toys, and try new things in the bedroom. Let your creative mind wander during self-pleasure!
Ovulation
Testosterone spikes during ovulation, greatly impacting sex drive. Many feel at their most confident, energetic, creative, horny, and sexually experimental. Go wild.
Suggested activity: Try new things, explore your kinks, go out on a fun date night or go to a sex party. Seize the day!
Luteal
With progesterone high, you might feel a dip in energy and need more rest and food. Estrogen levels remain fairly high, so many people still desire intimacy, but it may be slower, more sensual intimacy and affection.
Suggested activity: Slow down, eat more, and try more sensual intimacy like tantra, erotic massage with a massage candle, sensation play, and dry humping/cuddles.
What are your thoughts on breaking the stigma around period sex?
Period sex is still widely misunderstood. In a survey by Bodyform, only 20% of people said period sex "doesn't bother them at all," while 78% described the idea as either "disgusting" or "not great."
Remember, you are the master of your own body, and only you know what feels fun, sexy, and hot for you. If period sex isn’t for you, that’s fine. The most important thing is listening to your body and doing what’s best for you. However, it’s completely safe and hygienic, and having sex while on your period can even help with some menstrual side effects. You may also be surprised to learn that due to hormonal changes and blood flow, it can be some of the hottest sex of the month!
Any tips for partners supporting each other through cycle changes?
I’m a firm believer in communicating openly with your partner about your cycle, its phases, and your emotional, physical, and sexual needs at each stage. As with anything, it's better to be as clear and transparent as possible while keeping a curious and open mind to your partner's feelings and perspectives. Listen to each other's point of view and respect each other's boundaries.
Some people will find it easy to talk about their cycle openly, while others may not. Practising normalising the conversation is a great start. Generally speaking, euphemisms don’t help, as they can lead to misunderstandings.
Can sexual activity help with menstrual cramps and period pain?
There is a lot of anecdotal evidence suggesting that sex and orgasms are an effective form of pain relief. For example, a 2020 study on period pain and masturbation found that 90% of women would recommend masturbation to reduce menstrual cramps! This is partly because sex, pleasure, and orgasms release powerful hormones and neurotransmitters, including endorphins. Endorphins are the body’s natural pain relievers and have been shown to make pain more tolerable. In the context of period cramps, you can see why sex could be a fun, natural form of pain relief.
What are some tips to ease pelvic pain and enhance pleasure?
Sex should never be painful. When I work with women experiencing pelvic pain, there are many factors to consider. Key questions to consider include:
- When did the pain start? What does it feel like? When does it happen or not happen? Where does it occur?
- Who have you spoken to and received any medical diagnoses?
- What other factors might contribute to the pain (e.g., mental, emotional)?
- What have you already tried? I then tailor sessions based on these factors.
How can those with endometriosis or PCOS navigate painful sex?
Some people find that sex during their period is painful, especially those who suffer from chronic pain conditions like endometriosis, PCOS, and vaginismus. Listen to your body, communicate with your partner, and do what feels best for you.
If, for any reason, penetrative sex feels off the table, remember that “sex” and “intimacy” don’t always need to involve penetration. You can experience many of the same pleasure and intimacy benefits from slower forms, such as sensual massage or external stimulation.
How can we shift the narrative around period sex?
We must be the change we want to see in the world! Talking more openly about sex, bodies, periods, and pleasure can inspire others to do the same. There are many reasons why period sex can feel extra pleasurable: increased lubrication, heightened libido, and improved blood flow to the vulva, all of which can contribute to greater sensitivity and pleasure. Reclaiming this pleasure can be very empowering!
What’s your number one message for all women?
MORE PLEASURE, LESS PRESSURE!
Pleasure is good for you.
You deserve pleasure.
You are not broken.
You are normal.
Periods are normal.
Your body is beautiful just the way it is.
Sex should be pleasurable - never painful.
Your body is yours.
Reclaim your sexuality.
Come home to your body.
MY CYCLE
- My period in 3 words: Heavy, but Libido returns!
- Length: 4-5 days
- Period self-care means: Period Undies, comfort food, chocolate, and lots of masturbation!
- Period self-care toolkit: Period undies, A Doxy Vibrator, Massage Candle, A splash blanket, heat pad, and Disney+
- Best period hacks: Masturbate and have lots of orgasms - it makes it shorter!
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Scarlet pick: Period Undies and Bubble bath!
