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So, you cleanse your face and the rig but what about your beloved honeypot? Often neglected when chasing waterfalls, as rumour has it we shouldn’t be washing downstairs with bubbles and soaps?

You are so spot-on
the money, it hurts. You know what else hurts, thrush, UTI’s, and an all-round uncomfortable v-jay, which you can bet your bottom dollar strikes when your vulva goes near a product that is peppered with parabens and fragrances. Ouch is an understatement and truth be told we need the ol’gal primed and  ready at all times because we never know when she is going to be out and about. 

Let me talk nerdy to you… 

The vaginal microbiome is pretty precious and you would know this if you are  a vagina owner but my god she packs a punch. Any bacteria inhabiting the vagina are thought to be the first line of defence against vaginal infection, as  a result of both the competitive exclusion and direct killing of other pathogenic microbes. Disruptions of normal vaginal flora have long been  linked to pelvic inflammatory disease, miscarriages and prematurity. Who the  hell knew? 

Lactobacillus is the MVP of bacteria within the vaginal microbiome, this enables an acidic environment that protects women against sexually transmitted pathogens and opportunistic infections such as, candidiasis, bacterial vaginosis (BV) and aerobic vaginitis (AV). Commercial product use can alter vaginal flora and pH levels. A normal vaginal pH level is 4.5, this will  also vary with age, as we mature so does our vaginal microbiome - so much to look forward to. Both bacterial and fungal overgrowths are due in part to a lack of Lactobacilli and a vaginal pH imbalance. If you do notice a  distinctive odour that is not your usual scent then this may be caused by a yeast infection or BV. 

What depicts a healthy, juicy, and fragrant v-jay?

If you are going to cleanse your lady bits then it needs to be the right kind of ingredients as some products talk a pretty good game and lure you in under false pretences, and no, I am not talking about fuckboy. The aim of the  game - less is more. You want to be able to turn that bottle over and see very  few ingredients. As mentioned previously, the majority of femme cleanses and scrubs that are currently on the market saturate you in parabens, sulfates, silicones, and fragrances which are the main trigger for disrupting  your vaginal flora and pH levels. Quick gossip about parabens and sulfates for those that are not in the know about these two bitches – parabens disrupt  your hormones by mimicking oestrogen, and sulfates are chemicals that are  used as cleaning agents but more often than not, are found in shampoos  and body cleansers. I know, Ludacris. It must also be mentioned, when  cleansing the honeypot, it is a strict outdoor policy only. If you venture indoors, all hell breaks loose and that fishy odour that I was discussing earlier can rear its ugly head.  

What sort of ingredients should I be soaking myself in then?

Thank you for asking. First and foremost, unscented and fragrance-free, I  cannot stress this enough, which leads me to my next point, nature is best. A  lot of ladies and gents are on the el’naturale lubricant band-wagon, by using oils such as coconut and jojoba, a welcome alternative in the boudoir so why  not transport these natural alluring oils to a shower near you? Jojoba is a fave  and well- known for its soothing, anti-bacterial, and anti-inflammatory properties. We want ingredients to enhance our wallflower, not to repel. Introducing colloidal silver, for those of you that are yet to meet this fine  ingredient, it is known for its strong antimicrobial properties and apparently now welcomed down south, thanks to Scarlet. The silver particles that are  dispersed in this elixir are naked to the eye but have the ability to fight off  potential infection such as, candida, whilst also keeping the vagina’s dignity intact. 

Whilst we are speaking in private, it must be said that our vagina armour needs to be changed regularly in order to avoid infection cue tampons, period cups, padding and PeriodWear. Scarlet’s cup cleansing wipes and new-found cleanser are also key to a dazzling puss, and are there to keep that period cup as well as our cherished vulva, sparkling and fresh. 

Georgia Forsyth is a nutritionist and the founder of Cohere Studio - a Health and Nutrition Consultancy providing real and quantified advice for real people - without judgement.

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