Meet Sex Educator Eleanor Hadley, who is on a mission to help others reconnect with their sensuality and reclaim their pleasure. With her infectious passion and dedication to prioritising pleasure, Eleanor is here to shake up the conversation around sexuality and intimacy.

Name: Eleanor Hadley
Pronouns: She/her
Day job: Certified Sex Educator
Location: Gold Coast, Australia
Flow: Light
Length: 29-day cycle / 3-day period

Tell us about your work?

I’m a Certified Sex Educator, Speaker & Writer 🩷 The work I do is all about empowering people to prioritise their pleasure and reclaim their sexuality. I truly believe sexual liberation is vital for us to live full, pleasure-filled lives.

I got into this work in a roundabout way. After selling my pole dancing studio in Melbourne, I created my own style of sensual movement and started teaching workshops. From there, I began teaching on the topic of reconnecting to your sensuality, which led me to study and become certified in both life coaching and somatic sex coaching. My work has always been about embodiment and permitting clients to put their pleasure first.

 

What are some top tips to help ditch bedroom fears?

Talk about sex more! Both in and out of the bedroom. Studies show that the more we openly talk about sex, the better sex we inevitably have.

 

How can one become more confident in the bedroom?

I'm a huge advocate of self-seduction. Self-seduction is the practice of turning yourself on, seducing yourself purely for YOU. It's more than masturbation or self-pleasure; it's about deeply honoring yourself, prioritising your pleasure, and finding new ways to turn yourself on.

 

What are some great ways to get intimate without sex?

Have a make-out sesh! I think making out is a lost art that so many of us totally skip past, assuming it is simply a stopover on the way to sex. But it can be so delicious to indulge in kissing your partner and enjoying how connected that makes you feel to one another.

 

What about some books to help get you in the mood?

Oh, I am the Queen of Smut! I'm the biggest fan of romantic, erotic, and smutty books (I even have my own dedicated spicy book club called Smut Sluts). It really depends on how spicy you like your erotica. Still, some personal faves are the Priest Series by Sierra Simone, Pucking Around by Emily Rath, and Icebreaker by Hannah Grace.

Some still have reservations about period sex. Comment…!

I believe period sex is a very personal choice. For many people, it will feel uncomfortable because they might feel bloated or have bad cramps. While others might feel super horny or that sex helps reduce cramps. Either way, I'm here for you, making your own choice.

In terms of the 'mess' conversation, there are many ways around this. Use a splash blanket to keep sheets from getting stained, and hop in the shower to clean them off. Simple!

 

In terms of sexual desire, how can we better tap into the menstrual cycle?

Typically, our follicular phase and ovulation are where our desire tends to peak, though many people also report feeling horny af while on their period too. I find it interesting to track your cycle and patterns with desire levels, too, as this will empower you to understand the cycles of your libido too.

 

What are your tips to help with sexual discomfort?

There are many common issues that people experience in relation to sexual pain, and it's very important to take this seriously and seek a professional diagnosis. Whether it's vaginismus, vulvodynia or pain associated with endometriosis or other conditions - sex should never be painful. If you're experiencing this, I would suggest working closely with a pelvic floor physio to support you.

 

In terms of pain, are there any ‘better’ positions?

Everyone is so different about which positions feel better or worse, so I encourage you to get playful and experiment with your lover.

To spice up missionary, try placing a cushion underneath your hips, explore deep eye contact to enhance intimacy, experiment using butt plugs (on either person!) for added stimulation, or try fun partnered sex toys like vibrating cock rings.

For those who experience pain on penetration, I'd suggest a device called the OhNut.

 

MY CYCLE

• My period in 3-words: Healing, cosy, restful
• Period self-care means: Taking all day one off work, creating a cosy nest in my bed and curling up with a great book or series.
• Period self-care toolkit: Period undies, hemp balm for my belly, my two hot water bottles and painkillers.
• Best period hacks: I take specific herbs for hormonal regulation every day, which makes my endo far more manageable. I also ensure to make a batch of beef + liver Bolognese the week before my period is due, plus ginger tea in the days before and during.
• My contraception method of choice: Fertility Awareness Method, including tracking basal body temperature and cervical fluid. Plus, I use a diaphragm when I know I'm in the ovulation zone.
• On day 1 you can find me: Napping in bed, sandwiched between my fluffy hot water bottles.
• Scarlet pick: High waisted brief!

 

You can read more from Sex Educator Eleanor Hadley on her website and via Instagram.